Thursday, 22 September 2016

Formal Email Writing

To: Brad Blackstone
From: Ian Tan
Date: 22 September 2016
Subject: Self-Introduction

Dear Brad,

I would like to take this opportunity to have a short formal introduction of myself. My name is Ian Tan, a telematics student from your TLM1010 Technical Communications module from Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). I have graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a diploma in Biomedical Engineering in 2012. Following my fulfilment of the national service, I have worked in DBS as a customer service officer for almost 2 years.

During my education in polytechnic, as a specialized course, I have had to cover a wide variety of subjects ranging from the sciences (i.e. chemistry, biology, physics) to things like programming, device design modelling and even manufacturing. My specialization is in the Biomedical Device Design, which focuses on the aspect of designing biomedical devices to further augment and improve existing products.

I have several passions that I pursue during my free time, of which one is being a martial arts (Wushu) practitioner. Apart from keeping me fit, Wushu has aided me in developing a sense of responsibility, self-discipline and self-awareness. Music is also another passion that is crucial part of my life and which drove me to attain the diploma grade in Guzheng.

My goals in SIT would be to graduate and be able to continue on pursuing the Master’s degree. Apart from academic goals, I hope to be able to expand my social network and to make life-long friends. Travelling is a daily necessity, my aim for the future would be to help improve the transportation system in Singapore so that everybody would be able to enjoy their daily commute.

With this I conclude the end of my short formal introduction, and hope that this has served to let you have a better understanding of me.

Yours truly,

Ian Tan

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Commented: Xin En, Telson
First Revision: 30/09/2016
Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. Dawnn22 September 2016 at 20:51

    Dear Ian,

    After reading your email, I have a better understanding of your interest and goals.
    I like how you are clear and concise with your introduction. It's nice to know you learned Guzheng as I learned Piano (Grade 6) as well.

    All in all, I enjoyed reading your posts and look forward to reading more of it!

    Regards,

    Xin En

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown22 September 2016 at 22:15

      Hi Xin En

      Thank very much for taking your time to read and comment on this letter.
      Appreciate the comments and will be looking forward to reading on your future posts too

      Thanks & Regards
      Ian Tan

      Delete
  2. Brad Blackstone24 September 2016 at 19:24

    Thank you, Ian, for sharing in this initial post, the self intro. It is clear, concise and informative. I'm particularly interested in learning more about your experience with martial arts and how this training might impact your life in general.

    There are a few minor language issues in this letter:

    1) capitalization errors (we discussed some of these errors in class, such as a Martial Arts )
    2) Apart from keeping fit, Wushu has aided me in developing a sense of responsibility... >>> (dangling modifier) Who is keeping fit? You or wushu?
    3) My goals in SIT would be... / ...I would hope.... >>> (verb tense)
    4) paragraphing (discussed in class)
    5) commutation >>> really?
    6) punctuation: If you use a comma in the salutation, you need one in the closing as well (Yours truly, ).

    I look forward to getting to know more about you this term.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown29 September 2016 at 22:20

      Hi Brad

      Thank you very much for the kind and constructive feedback.

      I have done a very minor review on the post and will be doing a better revision of the post in the very near future.

      Looking forward to be able to learn more from you.

      Thanks & Regards
      Ian Tan

      Delete
  3. Unknown29 September 2016 at 22:32

    Dear ian,
    After reading your blog, it is great to know that you are from martial arts and music as i always wanted to know what is the name of some instruments and moves. I have been watching shows about this yet i still want to learn some moves to protect myself.

    i hope to understand you better after attending a few more lessons.

    Regards,
    Marilyn

    ReplyDelete

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